this not having a job thing has caught up to me. i liked it for a little while. i mean...who wouldn't? i'm ready to get going again though.
my birthday is a week from today. i'll be older than everyone.
give me stuff so that i can stare at it.
thanks.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
fantasy dive.
this is my first time ever playing fantasy baseball. i used to be anti-fantasy because i simply did not care for the idea that i would be rooting for teams and players that i would want to shit on if they were playing against the reds. the idea just made me sick to my stomach. however, because baseball is so wrapped around statistics and is such a soap opera of a season, i figured it'd be a good time to dangle my legs in the fantasy pool (plus, i'm in a league with a bunch of my friends who live in lancaster and are huge phillies fans, which will make it more fun...you know, because of the multiple opportunities to shit-talk).
anyway, i'm decently excited about the prospect of becoming even more immersed in baseball this season, which seems practically impossible right? trust me, though...it's possible.
here's my starting lineup:
C Brian McCann
1B Mark Teixeira
2B PHILLIPS!
SS Rafael Furcal
3B Miguel Cabrera
OF Curtis Granderson
OF Vernon Wells
OF Delmon Young
UTIL Jason Bay
Bench Gary Sheffield, GRIFFEY!, Jeff Kent, Jhonny Peralta
Pitchers Brandon Webb, HARANG!, Tim Lincecum, Ben Sheets, CORDERO!, Huston Street, Jeff Francis
note all of the reds i picked. that seems slightly ridiculous, but those are damn good reds to pick in fantasy if you ask me. all in all, i'm pretty happy with my team, especially considering that this is my first go around with fantasy.
i plan on dominating.
p.s. i know this isn't really interesting to anyone that reads this blog (except for maybe justin). i apologize if you read this whole thing and now feel like you wasted a moment of your life. too bad.
oh, and if you haven't seen it yet, here's a pick of me with the 1990 world series team. lou pinella smelled like a weird mixture of tuna and gasoline.
anyway, i'm decently excited about the prospect of becoming even more immersed in baseball this season, which seems practically impossible right? trust me, though...it's possible.
here's my starting lineup:
C Brian McCann
1B Mark Teixeira
2B PHILLIPS!
SS Rafael Furcal
3B Miguel Cabrera
OF Curtis Granderson
OF Vernon Wells
OF Delmon Young
UTIL Jason Bay
Bench Gary Sheffield, GRIFFEY!, Jeff Kent, Jhonny Peralta
Pitchers Brandon Webb, HARANG!, Tim Lincecum, Ben Sheets, CORDERO!, Huston Street, Jeff Francis
note all of the reds i picked. that seems slightly ridiculous, but those are damn good reds to pick in fantasy if you ask me. all in all, i'm pretty happy with my team, especially considering that this is my first go around with fantasy.
i plan on dominating.
p.s. i know this isn't really interesting to anyone that reads this blog (except for maybe justin). i apologize if you read this whole thing and now feel like you wasted a moment of your life. too bad.
oh, and if you haven't seen it yet, here's a pick of me with the 1990 world series team. lou pinella smelled like a weird mixture of tuna and gasoline.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
nice and quick.
if i spend too long writing this i'll just end up cursing myself because it's damn gorgeous outside and that's where i should be.
first motorcycle ride today. it took me a second. i fell once but got it going after a bit. still only in first gear though. baby steps people. i let russ ride it as well. he fell once...in the mud. luckily, however, my bike is perfectly fine, which is the most important thing. right?
i went to justin and heidi's last night for a fucking awesome meal of potato tacos, beans and rice, and some fantastic tortilla soup. i was served beer out of a jug and we watched return to oz, which i had been badly wanting to see. i watched this movie religiously as a child and remember how creepy it was. it was great of course and i had to have said at least fifty times, "i remember this part," which for some reason was reassuring to me, like i needed to confirm to myself that i had seen the movie multiple times as a kid. whatever.
wednesdays are the new fridays. take a hike weekend. you're overrated.
oh by the way, i found a new job. it's sitting around and waiting for baseball to start. it's a lot more work than you may think. damn stressful.
first motorcycle ride today. it took me a second. i fell once but got it going after a bit. still only in first gear though. baby steps people. i let russ ride it as well. he fell once...in the mud. luckily, however, my bike is perfectly fine, which is the most important thing. right?
i went to justin and heidi's last night for a fucking awesome meal of potato tacos, beans and rice, and some fantastic tortilla soup. i was served beer out of a jug and we watched return to oz, which i had been badly wanting to see. i watched this movie religiously as a child and remember how creepy it was. it was great of course and i had to have said at least fifty times, "i remember this part," which for some reason was reassuring to me, like i needed to confirm to myself that i had seen the movie multiple times as a kid. whatever.
wednesdays are the new fridays. take a hike weekend. you're overrated.
oh by the way, i found a new job. it's sitting around and waiting for baseball to start. it's a lot more work than you may think. damn stressful.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
10 years of jared. wow.
so i'm casually and predictably watching ESPN the other day when a bunch of b-list sports players and celebrities barrage me with a bevy of congratulations for jared fogle. you know jared. he was quite the portly fellow until he discovered the magical, weight-loss elixir that is subway. anyway, he hasn't weighed 500 pounds for ten years now, and subway decided to wrangle up a bunch of names and ask them to show their deepest, heartfelt praise for his accomplishment. sarcasm noted.
subway has definitely benefited from the ad campaign it began to run in january 2000 (that's right, we've been seeing jared for about over eight years). their profits have more than doubled since his face was plastered next to veggie subs everywhere. can you imagine a better job for jared? he basically lives off of subway commercials and "inspirational talks" he gives about fitness and eating. a company that sells turkey subs has made a fat guy into a celebrity and boy do they want you to know it. so much so, that they're willing to mark the ten year anniversary of his weight purge. really? does this seem ridiculous to anyone else?
i admire jared. really, i do. anyone would've taken advantage of the situation too and been more than willing to hold up a pair of size 62 pants and say, "hey guess what? subway helped me lose all this weight." he probably gets free subway for life, makes good money, and is generally happy. i honestly can't think of any one person aside from maybe michael jordan and gatorade that has been as tattooed to a company's success than jared.
are the congratulations worthwhile though? maintaining health both emotionally and physically is a kind of intrinsic part of life. almost like a responsibility to yourself. is jared happier because of subway or because of the weight loss? trust me, subway did not solely carry jared through his miraculous transformation. it was an aid. a facilitator. it had to be grueling work to lose all that weight and maybe even slightly disconcerting. it's probably pretty jarring to watch yourself physically transform in such a small amount of time. your life completely changes.
what i'm getting at is that i applaud jared for his own personal accomplishments and not for his subway affiliation. all subway's doing is exploiting the hell out of him anyway. if he gained back some of that weight, which honestly he seemed to be doing not all that long ago, subway would not even hesitate to shit all over him. who's to say they haven't already? regardless of his subway ties, jared probably has peace of mind and a pretty fucking good life because of his own dedication to the craft (yes, it's a craft) of losing weight and being healthier.
and there you have it.
subway has definitely benefited from the ad campaign it began to run in january 2000 (that's right, we've been seeing jared for about over eight years). their profits have more than doubled since his face was plastered next to veggie subs everywhere. can you imagine a better job for jared? he basically lives off of subway commercials and "inspirational talks" he gives about fitness and eating. a company that sells turkey subs has made a fat guy into a celebrity and boy do they want you to know it. so much so, that they're willing to mark the ten year anniversary of his weight purge. really? does this seem ridiculous to anyone else?
i admire jared. really, i do. anyone would've taken advantage of the situation too and been more than willing to hold up a pair of size 62 pants and say, "hey guess what? subway helped me lose all this weight." he probably gets free subway for life, makes good money, and is generally happy. i honestly can't think of any one person aside from maybe michael jordan and gatorade that has been as tattooed to a company's success than jared.
are the congratulations worthwhile though? maintaining health both emotionally and physically is a kind of intrinsic part of life. almost like a responsibility to yourself. is jared happier because of subway or because of the weight loss? trust me, subway did not solely carry jared through his miraculous transformation. it was an aid. a facilitator. it had to be grueling work to lose all that weight and maybe even slightly disconcerting. it's probably pretty jarring to watch yourself physically transform in such a small amount of time. your life completely changes.
what i'm getting at is that i applaud jared for his own personal accomplishments and not for his subway affiliation. all subway's doing is exploiting the hell out of him anyway. if he gained back some of that weight, which honestly he seemed to be doing not all that long ago, subway would not even hesitate to shit all over him. who's to say they haven't already? regardless of his subway ties, jared probably has peace of mind and a pretty fucking good life because of his own dedication to the craft (yes, it's a craft) of losing weight and being healthier.
and there you have it.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
sooner rather than later.
i just returned from san francisco yesterday. the amount of brake work that has to be done in that city is probably astounding. regardless, i had a pretty decent time and have to admit that it was down right delightful to walk around in a t-shirt. an abundance of delicious vegetarian choices in addition to 62 degree weather is going to buoy my spirits every time. wandering around cities in a kind of shroud of anonymity has a liberating, sobering feel to it. one of my favorite days in san fran was the day that i literally had no idea what to do and just left where i was staying to aimlessly walk around. i ate by myself, shopped by myself, and watched a movie (be kind rewind...it's worth seeing) by myself. i peculiarly felt a little more independent than usual because i just don't think these are things i would've done in cincinnati by myself. i don't know if that's right or wrong. you tell me.
i leave for chicago tomorrow in order to dive into the muscular, beefy arms of zach thomas. that's right, i'm a jet setter. for real, though, chicago's prolly the destination. oh, that lovable midwest feel. san francisco's neat and all, but it doesn't seem to have the same genuine ambiance that i feel the midwest harbors. i'm biased, and i know that, so whatever. however, i also know certain people who live on one of the coasts now and would agree with me in a heartbeat. we was just raised better. that's just how it be.
i will miss the hills of cincy though. god, i love those hills. i'm still waiting to see coates sled down the riddle road hill and make those turns without demolishing that bulbous head of his and leaving bits and pieces of his sexy brain scattered over the snow covered concrete. i just don't see how it's possible.
everything just seems kind of bittersweet right now i guess. but, you'll have that.
i leave for chicago tomorrow in order to dive into the muscular, beefy arms of zach thomas. that's right, i'm a jet setter. for real, though, chicago's prolly the destination. oh, that lovable midwest feel. san francisco's neat and all, but it doesn't seem to have the same genuine ambiance that i feel the midwest harbors. i'm biased, and i know that, so whatever. however, i also know certain people who live on one of the coasts now and would agree with me in a heartbeat. we was just raised better. that's just how it be.
i will miss the hills of cincy though. god, i love those hills. i'm still waiting to see coates sled down the riddle road hill and make those turns without demolishing that bulbous head of his and leaving bits and pieces of his sexy brain scattered over the snow covered concrete. i just don't see how it's possible.
everything just seems kind of bittersweet right now i guess. but, you'll have that.
Monday, February 11, 2008
top it off.
how about that super bowl? needless to say, my prediction was sorely incorrect. to top it all off, i decided to talk a bunch of shit at the super bowl party i went to and claim that there was no way in all hell the giants were going to pull the game out. if i hadn't been watching the game with a bunch of friends, i may have been spared outright humiliation. complete strangers may have taken some pity on me. friends, however, are so quick and precise in pointing out weaknesses and mistakes. that's why you love them though right? also, since justin and i were the only ones rooting for the patriots, and seeing that i have the bigger mouth, i took the brunt of the jeers.
not much else has happened since the kerplunk that was the super bowl. a good friend of mine lent me the third season of LOST, which i had yet to see (i used to be in this band that practiced on wednesday nights; needless to say, i was torn). i knew that if i watched one episode i would be sucked back in and subjected to an amazing waste of time. of course, i decided to watch an episode. four days later i had watched all 23. ridiculous right? goddamn that show is good though. kate is my wife.
today marks the beginning of my final week or so at good old American Apparel. and boy, i'll tell you what...it is immensely difficult to be an efficient worker at a place you know you're about to leave. i'm just not as inclined to straighten colors and sell people cotton. weird huh? i'm sure i'll miss it in a weird sort of way though. it's easy, and i know how to do everything. while that is comforting, you also have to realize that comfort can be a stranglehold. hamper and hold you back. therefore, i'm quitting without another job. i've done this several times before and always landed on my feet. let's hope it works this time too. a lack of money and/or stability usually makes me even more tenacious to find a new job/location/career (gross?) that fully suits me.
in the meanwhile, i'm bumming around, taking in some culture, and bringing to life a few rambling thoughts. suck it. more to come.
not much else has happened since the kerplunk that was the super bowl. a good friend of mine lent me the third season of LOST, which i had yet to see (i used to be in this band that practiced on wednesday nights; needless to say, i was torn). i knew that if i watched one episode i would be sucked back in and subjected to an amazing waste of time. of course, i decided to watch an episode. four days later i had watched all 23. ridiculous right? goddamn that show is good though. kate is my wife.
today marks the beginning of my final week or so at good old American Apparel. and boy, i'll tell you what...it is immensely difficult to be an efficient worker at a place you know you're about to leave. i'm just not as inclined to straighten colors and sell people cotton. weird huh? i'm sure i'll miss it in a weird sort of way though. it's easy, and i know how to do everything. while that is comforting, you also have to realize that comfort can be a stranglehold. hamper and hold you back. therefore, i'm quitting without another job. i've done this several times before and always landed on my feet. let's hope it works this time too. a lack of money and/or stability usually makes me even more tenacious to find a new job/location/career (gross?) that fully suits me.
in the meanwhile, i'm bumming around, taking in some culture, and bringing to life a few rambling thoughts. suck it. more to come.
Sunday, February 3, 2008
ultimate.
today is like a holiday. the culmination of five months of football. an end to an exhausting two weeks of over-analysis, outrageous bets and predictions, and ridiculous story lines. i honestly woke up really early today in complete anticipation of today's events. kind of pathetic? well...fuck you, i like it and it makes me happy.
i'm a huge proponent of super bowl parties. for the past three years, my roommates and i have thrown some damn good parties. we'd seriously get into it too. reorganization of TVs to maximize the watchibility, an outrageous spread of food that we provided ourselves, and just the general entertainment of our personalities, which is really the most priceless gift. is there really anything better than a sports party? i'd do it every week if people were as into it as i am. a Wimbledon party? you got it. a party to watch the Masters? fuck yes. it's combining great things into one singular, amazing event. friends, sports, food, alcohol, television, cursing, yelling, etc. sounds fantastic. it reminds me of an article i recently read that said krispy kreme makes a hamburger that uses donuts for the bun. america likes donuts right? america definitely likes meat and hamburgers right? well, what the hell...let's put them together to create an abomination of the very essence of what food should be so that we can make everyone fatter but happier. this is what the superbowl party is. for one day, you forget about maintaining some semblance of decency and you get drunk at 2pm, stuff your face with a copious amount of waste until you're full, and then say "fuck it" and continue to eat just for the sake of eating. there are no rules. it's bedlam.
unfortunately, today will be a little different than previous years. the core of the superbowl party planning committee has disbanded, and the venue has changed. my current residence is too small to maintain several rowdy idiots yelling at the TV, so we are taking it to norwood. no better place right? i'm excited though and am actually gonna head to the grocery soon to pick up supplies.
as far as actual football goes, i'm predicting that it'll be the patriots 34-17. the real bets should be on how may picks eli will throw. justin and i say at least two. i could see up to four. god...he's going to crack.
finally, i'm sick of all you naysayers against the patriots. i'm by no means saying that they're my favorite team, but it'll be something to witness history...at least for me. i'm a sports fan, and i've never seen this shit before. and also, are you really going to root for the giants? i mean...the giants? this is the team your putting all your hopes in to slay goliath? i don't think so. no way, no how. 34-17 is being generous. i wanted to say 78-2, and the two points would only come on a freak play in which little wes welker tries to pull a reggie bush and do a front flip into the end zone. unfortunately though, he loses the ball in the process, and it travels out of the back of the end zone, resulting in the giants' two points. but it doesn't matter because the patriots were winning by so much, and the cameras focus on a patriots sideline trying to hold back their smiles and laughter at little old wes. even big bill looks like he wants to chuckle.
do yourself a favor and really enjoy the first half of the game and gorge yourself during the second half because by then the game won't really be as entertaining. and because you'll feel kind of depressed that tom petty looks like he just turned 96 years old. this is what the NFL has to dish up now? tom petty? really?
i mean...it was just janet jackson's boob, and it was gross anyway. don't you think so?
enjoy.
i'm a huge proponent of super bowl parties. for the past three years, my roommates and i have thrown some damn good parties. we'd seriously get into it too. reorganization of TVs to maximize the watchibility, an outrageous spread of food that we provided ourselves, and just the general entertainment of our personalities, which is really the most priceless gift. is there really anything better than a sports party? i'd do it every week if people were as into it as i am. a Wimbledon party? you got it. a party to watch the Masters? fuck yes. it's combining great things into one singular, amazing event. friends, sports, food, alcohol, television, cursing, yelling, etc. sounds fantastic. it reminds me of an article i recently read that said krispy kreme makes a hamburger that uses donuts for the bun. america likes donuts right? america definitely likes meat and hamburgers right? well, what the hell...let's put them together to create an abomination of the very essence of what food should be so that we can make everyone fatter but happier. this is what the superbowl party is. for one day, you forget about maintaining some semblance of decency and you get drunk at 2pm, stuff your face with a copious amount of waste until you're full, and then say "fuck it" and continue to eat just for the sake of eating. there are no rules. it's bedlam.
unfortunately, today will be a little different than previous years. the core of the superbowl party planning committee has disbanded, and the venue has changed. my current residence is too small to maintain several rowdy idiots yelling at the TV, so we are taking it to norwood. no better place right? i'm excited though and am actually gonna head to the grocery soon to pick up supplies.
as far as actual football goes, i'm predicting that it'll be the patriots 34-17. the real bets should be on how may picks eli will throw. justin and i say at least two. i could see up to four. god...he's going to crack.
finally, i'm sick of all you naysayers against the patriots. i'm by no means saying that they're my favorite team, but it'll be something to witness history...at least for me. i'm a sports fan, and i've never seen this shit before. and also, are you really going to root for the giants? i mean...the giants? this is the team your putting all your hopes in to slay goliath? i don't think so. no way, no how. 34-17 is being generous. i wanted to say 78-2, and the two points would only come on a freak play in which little wes welker tries to pull a reggie bush and do a front flip into the end zone. unfortunately though, he loses the ball in the process, and it travels out of the back of the end zone, resulting in the giants' two points. but it doesn't matter because the patriots were winning by so much, and the cameras focus on a patriots sideline trying to hold back their smiles and laughter at little old wes. even big bill looks like he wants to chuckle.
do yourself a favor and really enjoy the first half of the game and gorge yourself during the second half because by then the game won't really be as entertaining. and because you'll feel kind of depressed that tom petty looks like he just turned 96 years old. this is what the NFL has to dish up now? tom petty? really?
i mean...it was just janet jackson's boob, and it was gross anyway. don't you think so?
enjoy.
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