flat ground.

i rode my bike like 10 miles yesterday, all the way to the lake and back. that may not seem like so much to some of you bicycle enthusiasts (i see you zach) and cocky sons of bitches, but to me, not too shabby. jeans, a t-shirt, and tennis shoes. nice and simple. annnyyway, my main point is that it's just strange to now live in such a flat city. i was born in the delhi hills of cincinnati. i'm used to going up in order to inevitably come down. from the top of a cincinnati hill, you can see skylines and even pieces of kentucky if you really feel like it. hills are one of the most endearing parts about cincinnati's landscape.

i was excited, however, to move here and go running because i thought to myself, "man, no more trekking up Riddle, MLK, or Clifton Ave. this is gonna be fantastic." god, i hated running up those bohemiths. i should've known better though. it does blow balls to climb up those hills, but then you get to partake in a nice leisurely jog back down them. in good old chicago, though, it's just a constant heave. no dynamic to it. i haven't decided on which one i like better. exercise wise, i actually think it's better here and not as tough on my legs and knees. oh, by the way, i'm sure this running diatribe probably seems like common sense to some of you, but aren't you always supposed to have grandiose expectations of a new place? otherwise, why would you go there? plus, i go running like almost every day. in my mind, i envisioned an entire city comprised of moving walkways in which i could run something like 5 miles in 20 minutes.

i don't think i can get my next few thoughts in before this website goes under maintenance at 4:00pm, which i just noticed. my next post will almost definitely be food related because goddamn this city has good food. more to come...

more midwest.

i completed my move to chicago on monday and have been settling myself in ever since. moving in and of itself is a pain in the ass, much less to a different city. however, the apartment is looking pretty well put together, which i attribute to not having a job. oh, by the way, i absolutely love our landlords. they're eccentric old polish people (i basically live in the heart of polish chicago) who are EXTREMELY accomodating and really have nothing to do except for go to church and make sure their little community is running like a well-oiled machine. good people. i think i genuinely enjoy listening to people talk in abrupt, halting languages. that's probably why i took german in college. you can make a couple of simple words sound like a death threat. it's all in the attitude.

anyway, my first evening here i made plans to meet zach and allison for dinner. i don't remember where we were going to meet, and it doesn't really matter. i had zero concept of direction or destination because it takes me a second to process a new location and realize what's north, south, east, west. i bascially equate it to not being able to figure out percentages in your head at the drop of a hat, which i definitely cannot do. also, i didn't have the internet, which only perpetuated my problem. it's amazing how helpless one feels without the internet. i mean...how am i supposed to get around without google maps? guess? please. so i got viciously lost and wanted to kill the world because i was fucking starving and because i had no idea which direction to go. i willed myself back to my apartment somehow, ate plain couscous by itself, and went to bed completely unsatisfied, from a hunger standpoint. i love zach to death, but we both later agreed that we probably should have met somewhere a little closer to my residence.

i have since realized the glory of the grid system and feel more than semi-confident in my ability to navigate the city.

that was my monday adventure. tuesday i spent most of the day unpacking and setting shit up. later on, i met zach for dinner. we drank and held hands as we walked along the beach of lake michigan. it was sublime.

yesterday, i went to wrigley field to watch the cubs slaughter the reds. the stadium is amazing, and i was pretty much in awe of it. no jumbotron. no cushy seats. no plastic, superficial feel. pretty damn authentic, right down to the barrage of obnoxious cubs fans. man, this city absolutely fucking abhors dusty baker. for a team who hasn't won anything in like a millenium, you would think that they'd be somewhat appreciative of a manager who took them to the NLCS five years ago. i don't get it. it just seems irrational to me. but then again i'm the most level-headed, rational person i know, so i understand the intricacies of the situation and am willing to take a few steps back and view the situation objectively. no?

regardless, the whole experience was awesome. the energy coarsing through that stadium is knee-buckling. now, if only the reds could have stayed in it for one inning. man, that would've been dynamite. i love going to other stadiums, though. i'm one of those guys who wants to make a tour of every baseball stadium at some point in my life. it's all about the atmosphere. definitely.

so...i'm here now. still in the initial shock phase. you'll have that though.

minus a select few, i'm pretty sure most of the others that read this thing live in cincinnati, so just wanted to say that i miss you guys and expect to miss you more and more in the next couple of weeks. that's why i'm going to come back like three times in may. well, that and weddings, but we'll just pretend.

brett favre is a fraud.

news flash!

favre hadn't "retired" before this year because he wanted to capture all of the noteworthy nfl records from dan marino, which in my opinion is kind of selfish bullshit. he's got those now, though, so he's "retired." but has he? still hasn't filed those retirement papers. still says that it'd be tough to shrug off a return to the packers if aaron rodgers got injured. still throws his face and voice all over the media.

if he's so certain that this is the right choice and his poor, battered mental state (a mental state mind you that is repeatedly massaged and babied by the media and all other football kingpins) just can't go through the routine of the offseason then officially retire then please. i call bullshit.

he won the big game 12 years ago. that's a long long time. and he only won one. i don't particularly care for tom brady, but i have to give him credit for orchestrating three rings. that's an accomplishment. ever since the 1996 championship, favre has repeatedly choked in the playoffs, which we got to see yet again this year when he handed a basket full of lollipops to the giants by tossing up another chucked turkey to corey webster (i still attribute much of his early career prowess to having talented, athletic receivers who could simply go up and steal those lobs out of the air).

i'm going to stop this now because i could go on forever...

i'll leave it with this: please go away brett favre. i beg you. leave the packers and poor aaron rodgers alone. let him have the team he deserved two years ago. stop making people compare him to an exaggerated, "all-american" talent. file your retirement papers, and go back to mississippi.

p.s. remember when favre was addicted to painkillers? why doesn't anyone ever talk about that? matt leinart gets lambasted for a couple of absolutely harmless pictures of him at a party with **gasp** alcohol, but favre gets a free pass ... ALL OF THE TIME. i don't get it. is everyone oblivious except for me?