Monday, October 27, 2008

This Is Going Nowhere.

My senses are being flooded by the 5th and potentially last game of the World Series and the Colts vs. Titans game. I don't know which one I want to watch more and can't seem to make any sort of decision, so I've retreated to this blog, which I had to blow the dust off of from a general lack of use.

One of my best friends (Shortie) came up here this past weekend with his girlfriend, and Justin's coming up in two weeks (I'm keeping fingers crossed) with his lovely wife Heidi. This greatly pleases me because lord knows I need someone to talk to about sports, and just someone to rehash two-year old jokes with that no one in this bohemith of a city understands. I like my friends.

Anyway, Shortie and I got in the discussion about work and the effects working a "real job" inflict on your psyche. Shortie slings mail for a living, and I'm pretty sure he dislikes/despises it overall. No other way of saying it. Now, I have my first "real job" in my life in which I wake up at 6:30 AM and go to bed at like 11 PM. This is no good. Along with Shortie, I was one of those people who said that I could never go to bed before midnight. It would virtually be impossible for me to even yawn my before the change of day. Yeah, well we were both full of shit.

Given, I'm taking a big step back here, but we talked about how we used to stay up until 6 in the morning every night when we were just out of high school. Everything moved much slower to the point of a delirious yet enjoyable boredom. All of my friends, and let me remind you that we didn't drink or do drugs, used to sit in a pathetic park, which basically consisted of a single gazebo, for six hours and just bullshit about nothing. It almost seemed like there were too many hours in the day to fill with interesting activity or just entertaining fluff, but as you get older, the time dwindles down to about three hours after you get off of work. I'm not really bitching or trying to get all introspective, it's just strange to think about. It just gives you a different perspective when you can talk to people you've been friends with since you were like 15. You can kind of map out the journey/movement of your life over the past 12 years because you both basically went through the same shit.

I like my job for the most part. I work tons and don't make that much money, but I get to basically deal with music all day and wear whatever I want to work. It's a relaxed environment and no one's breathing down my neck. You've gotta appreciate that. But it's just strange to know that I'm going to be going to work Monday-Friday and that I'm probably going to be in bed by 11 and waking up at the time I used to go to bed 10 years ago.

Similar to one of Justin's posts from a couple of weeks ago, I started into this thing without a topic in mind, and now I've spent too much time writing to delete it. Maybe there's a nugget or two in there, but this is really just a comment on my friend visiting me this weekend and a conversation we had when we were both drunk.

So there you have it.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Golden Age of Sitcoms.

So, I wake up every morning and watch ESPN (my news channel) as I'm eating breakfast. Part of the routine. Nice way to start the day in my opinion. However, there are times when I'll flip through the channels during a nauseating segment involving any of the football analysts, Chris Berman, or some fluff, sentimental garbage. On rare occasions when I'm flipping channels, I'll run across some early morning episodes of Saved by the Bell, and to be honest, I kind of get excited. I used to fucking love Saved by the Bell when I was growing up and genuinely looked forward to getting home from school, plopping myself down in front of the TV, and watching a good solid hour of some high school hi-jinks orchestrated by Zack Morris.

But when I try to sit through an episode now, hell even ten minutes of one, I find it absolutely unbearable. The show's terrible...fucking terrible. A.C. Slater wears tank tops to school everyday. Lisa Turtle finds any way to insert "dork" into every sentence involving poor Screech (How about I make a dork omelet out of you? What?). Zack Morris owns a cell phone the size of a pineapple in 1990. Jesse Spano is an uptight, snobby bitch. Mr. Belding has way too much time on his hands mainly as a result of only having to deal with about 24 students, which seems to be the entire population of Bayside. Two classrooms, a hallway, and a gymnasium the size of a garage. Oh, and I don't even know where to begin with Screech. No one would be friends with Screech, especially the "cream of the crop" of Bayside High. The only person I accept is Kelly Kapowski because she's good looking.

My main point is I used to watch a lot of unfunny shit as a kid. We all did. Saved by the Bell is nostalgic, and I understand that. But could you really sit through an entire episode right now and enjoy it? I'm going to say no. When I watch any of the sitcoms I once loved, I'm baffled. Well, not baffled. I know why I liked them then, but it's just funny to see it from a different (older) perspective and realize how unfunny something is that you thought was hilarious. There are a few mainstays, though. One of them being the Cosby Show because it was clever. While it had it's cheeseball moments, it knew what it was trying to accomplish and usually did so effectively (well, not in the later seasons...that's when it started sucking). Anyway, I'm going to ramble off a few of the shows I used to ritualistically watch and quickly explain why I now find them to be examples of unbelievably bad TV.

Home Improvement - This is the one sitcom that was "family time" for me. My entire family loved this shit and we made a point to sit down together and watch it each week. The story is the exact same every episode. The intolerable Tim Taylor gets into a pickle, asks Wilson's advice, misinterprets it, makes the situation worse, and then somehow wraps the show up unscathed. Tim Allen is so far from funny it's astonishing.

Full House - Wow...where do I even begin? Sentimental, "cute" comedy, moral-laden terribleness. All of the characters are bad, so I'll just focus on the worst - Joey Gladstone. I don't remember one point during the lifespan of the show (and me watching it) in which Joey said one funny thing. Not one. And if you didn't notice, that's his deal. He's supposed to be a fucking comedian. When the show first started, he lived in an alcove. A grown man living in an alcove. How he didn't blow his brains out, I'll never know. Did Joey Gladstone ever get laid throughout the history of the show? I don't see how he could have. His Popeye impression may be the root of all things evil and wrong with the world today.

Growing Pains - I agree with Bill Simmons when he says that the fact Mike Seaver had a friend named Boner is hilarious. It is. That's all the show has. Nothing really memorable aside from Tracey Gold being anorexic and Kirk Cameron freaking out, going militant religious, and basically refusing to doing anything in the show that was even slightly controversial or risky for his character. Those were the most popular story lines of the show and they weren't even relevant to the actual sitcom. That should tell you something. And by the way, Alan Thicke is the star and central figure of the show. Enough said.

Webster - Man, I wish I could have lived in the mansion that the Papadopolis' had after they moved out of their apartment. Remember all the secret passageways and strangeness? Awesome. If I ever have the opportunity to live in a house with a dumbwaiter, I'm taking it. No questions asked. All I would do is hide and freak people out all day. Damn, that shit would be so much fun. Oh yeah, this show kind of sucked. But I sure do love saying Papadopolis.

Others that are coming to mind but I'm not going to expound on: Perfect Strangers, Step by Step, Family Matters, Boy Meets World

Shows that pulled it off most of the time: Cosby Show, Wonder Years, Family Ties, Roseanne

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Fall Highlights.

Football and the Baseball Playoffs - first and foremost. October is the best month for sports...hands down.

Pumpkin Ale - this shit should be served year round. I always try and stock up before Winter when you're bombarded with a bunch of seasonal porters.

American Apparel Flex-Fleece Hoodies - these things are the best and I have like five. A definite plus to having worked there.

The smell of bonfires/campfires/nature burning - can this smell be bottled into a cologne form? I know a lot of people hate on it, but I have some nice memories.

Going to Shows - Time to be inside a little bit more, and why not go watch great shit? Fall is an excellent time to go to see music, and tons of notable bands come through town this time of year.

Running in Sweatshirts and Sweatpants - doesn't sound too appealing right? Remember, though, I like to sweat.

Fashion Options - there are just way more layering opportunities and other possible fashion transformations. More clothes...duh.

Halloween - haunted houses are the fucking best. When some sort of ghoul, zombie, or mass murderer catches me off guard I clap my hands and curse. It's like I've been foiled or something, and I'm mad at myself. I love it.

Soup - basically eat (or is it slurp) soup consistently throughout the season. Put some lentil soup in an IV for me and I'm all set.

Tackle Football - complete soreness the next day, but it's the kind of soreness that makes you feel like you've accomplished something.

Sleeping - wrapping yourself up in extra blankets is always a great idea. Especially with a space heater sitting right next to you.