Tuesday, January 20, 2009


Some of you may or not know that I busted my knee on January 2nd of this young year due to a negligent driver being an idiot. Idiot drivers are the worst kind of idiots. I've been patiently waiting for it to fully recover ever since; however, a dull ache remains, and if I hit it or touch it accidentally, it fucking throbs. I guess flying off your bike and grinding your knee against straight concrete will do that. Anyway, I thought I'd take the time to go ahead and let the 5-6 people who read this blog know how feeling crippled has affected my everyday activities.

Now, I'm a bit of complainer. I know that and have come to grips with it. I actually really do love that as you get older, you realize your strengths and weaknesses more and more. It's refreshing and you adapt better in situations prone to evoking a certain emotion . . . if that makes any sense. Anyway, because of my knee the complaining has ratcheted up, and my friends have been forced to take the brunt of it. I feel sorry for them and I apologize, but I feel like in the end it's a pretty good trade for driving their sorry asses around all the time. Of course, I'm kidding. I just drive their sorry asses around most of the time.

Exercise has become impossible. No running. No bike riding. It's depressing. I went running the Monday after the accident naively thinking I was all better and consequently spent the rest of the day walking around like my leg was perpetually asleep. It killed. Now, if this was the summer, I wouldn't be able to stand it. I mean, how would I sweat? I've definitely been going through adrenaline withdraw, and that's kind of okay because it's winter. It's hard to do a lot of shit in -25 degree weather anyway. Push-ups and pull-ups are pretty much the norm. Regardless, I can feel myself getting fatter. Is there any worse a feeling than feeling yourself gain weight? Sounds vain as fuck huh? Well whatever, everyone's vain as hell. Most are just too vain to admit it.

I'm 27 and will soon be 28. I typically think of myself as a vivacious, healthy rascal operating on unadulterated energy. I don't drink caffeine or take any stimulants. With this injury, however, I've become sadly brittle and old as I ache around my apartment and office trying not to bend me knee or accidentally bang it up against anything. I should probably go cane shopping tomorrow. I've also been finding myself blankly staring at webmd.com and checking for ear hair. I assume I should make an appointment for a colonoscopy pretty soon. I'm an old man. Thank god for Justin and Zach, though. They're ancient.

In conclusion, I did make an appointment to see a sports medicine doctor. I'm kind of looking forward to this because I can ask him about all of the ridiculous sports injuries that my favorite athletes have had to endure. Can you please explain to me what Tommy John surgery is? Will Carson Palmer ever return to form from his ACL surgery? What exactly is "turf toe"? Plus, I may get to have my first MRI, which is exciting, just as long as my whole body doesn't have to go in the tube. Is that the only type of MRI because if so, no thanks.

All in all, I suspect I'm fine. I just need some sort of explanation and fully plan on being told to just "try and stay off it and take some ibuprofen to stunt the pain." Pffft . . .


edwardallen said...

did you not mock me for a post i made a few short months ago complaining about how i am getting old... you probably don't remember doing that, because, you know, they say that memory is the first thing to go...

even if your knee is destroyed we can still play catch in the spring. i'm dead accurate with my fastball so you won't have to move a muscle.

Billy said...

I'm sorry to hear about your injury. The MRI isn't a big deal. You don't have to put your whole body in a tube, just your legs. I really doubt the doctor will send you out to get one right away though. You will have to get an x-ray first. I hope all goes well with the diagnosis.

As far as exercise and health goes though, it doesn't have to be a disaster. After my injury and before my surgery I was able to stay in shape and actually increase in strength doing upper body only work.

It has been 10 months and I still can't really jog for more than a few minutes without pain. I was pretty bummed and let myself go a bit. However, I am starting to turn things around. I figure if a guy in a wheelchair can be a bodybuilder there is no excuse for letting myself get out of shape. It might take a little more effort now, but you can stay in shape too.